Geekwriting

From 2005 to 2009, I was the copywriter for the X-treme Geek retail catalog while it was owned by E-filliate, Inc. While a whole lot of my copy never saw print (editors: do we love 'em or what?), I managed to preserve some of my favorites, completely unadulterated, for display here. Most of these items are no longer for sale, so some of the pictuers will not be available. I apologize for any mysterious confusion.

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CORRECT CUBE NAMES:
Bob = White, black hair;
Joe = Bald with suit;
Ted = Glasses and bow tie;
Ann= Blonde;
expansion pack figures: Jan = Black;
Jim = Cap & Laptop;
Sue = Redhead;
Dan = Black
guide at http://www.cubefigures.com/home.html

Image1 - Caption
Is he [she] working? Or just playing Minesweeper?

Image 2 - Caption
Looks like he [she] failed to put a cover sheet on his TPS report

Image 3 - Caption
Here's the Assistant Intra Regional Project Information Specialist Level B, hard at work

Image 4 - Caption
Employee #113852577 seems happy to be here

Image 5 – Caption
Remember, titles are free




COPY=================

HEADING-

Heading Copy: Cubicle Life Just Got a Lot Smaller!


Alt Heading 1: Build Your own Corporate Labyrinth One Cube at a Time!


Alt Heading 2: Move over Sims! Here come The Cubes!



BULLETS-
Basic sets (Bob, Joe, Ted, Ann) include:
1 One comfortably numb 2 3/4" poseable figure
2 Four sterile walls, a desk, chair and file cabinet
3 Computer, phone, in/out box
4 Sticker sheet of décor with charts, computer screens and pithy office posters
5 Job title sticker sheet so you can create your own meaningless titles


BODY-
[for four basic sets]
You may never get a window office, but you don't have to suffer alone! Now you can boss around The Cubes, complacent little drones who come complete with their tedious four-walled environments. Each set includes everything you need to imprison your Cube into a sterile cell of uninspiring monotony. Dish out your own convoluted job titles with the sticker sheet of human resource labels. And unlike real-world cube dwellers, The Cubes won't complain, quit or steal your stapler. (But you might catch them playing Solitare.)

[for expansion set] Human Resources has just dumped four new recruits on you: Sue, Jan, Jim and Dan are anxious to start and eager to please. Includes nine plastic accessories including a cell phone, calculator, laptop and other office essentials.


ADDITIONAL ITEMS NEEDED? i.e. batteries, adapters, cables, etc

 
 

 

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